New Years Eve 2008 7:45PM  / Mom
Well if you were here, you would probably be getting ready to go out on the town, or maybe we would go to the casino together. Me I'm sitting here feeling very lonely, sad, depressed, just very emotional all day. This is one of those down days. I wish I knew what Heaven was really like, can you see me, hear me??????Do you know what the days are. Do you know how much this hurts?? So many questions, no answers, I know it sounds crazy for me to even think these things but I cant help it. The start of another new year without you here is very hard. Others are out celebrating together without a care in the world, and then there are parents out here like me going through the loss of their child. No need or want to party or celebrate. Aaron just left with Emily to go to a party and Ry is waiting for Camille to get done work. Grandma is watching Tv. I hope you know how much I need you, it doesnt matter where you are, I still need your support.  Good night my sweet angel. Peace Close

Dec. 29th, 2008 Almost the end of the year  / Mom
Hey sweetness. Hows moms angel? I still cant believe you are gone from home. It doesnt matter how much time has gone by, I miss You more all the time. I dont really know how I am going to make it through the rest of my life without you in it. I try not to look to far ahead because I dont like the thought of it. We got back safe and sound. We talked so much about you, it was the best thing to do, to go away from everyone and everything back home. Aaron and Ryan had such a good time and looked out for each other, just like you would if you were there. They needed to spend some time together and make memories of their own. We even saw people that looked like you. Its like there is no escaping you, I wouldnt want to.  I just wish I could seee you and touch you istead of talking like this. But this is all I have for right now. I love you Anthony, and you know that, I miss you with all my heart and soul. Peace my angel.. Close

Happy Christmas from heaven....  / IRENE MOMMY TO ANGEL KAYLA XAVIER 4EVER (DEC.22,2008)
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Sending Birthday Wishes to Anthony!  / Carol Pizzi (Angel Debbie's Mom )

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Its your birthday  / Mom
Hi sweetness, today you are 24, I cant believe that you arent here to celebrate. I miss you so much, this really hurts.  I keep looking to the sky to see if I can see a glimpse of you or something from you. I know you know that I am hurting today. Its so hard to let go and have a good day as people would say, how can I, when you arent here especially today. Well I love you Happy Birthday my son..... Close

Dec 14th 2008 Mom loves Anthony  / MOM
Well I went to the Compassionate friends candle lighting tonight, It was so nice, oh so sad. All the parents that have lost their sons and daughters at every age.Its hard to believe. Your brothers were both there for you and of course Grandma. There was so much love in that church, you could feel it. We all feel the same wat and treat each  other as if we have known each other for years. They are good people.  I will try to light some candles for other angels. Take care of everyone up there Bud, you were always good at looking out for others. Know that I miss you more and more every day. Love to you Close

Merry Christmas Anthony  / Tess, Angel Matthew McPhail's Mummy (Angel Mummy Friend )
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Dec 12th. This month is coming so fast  / MOM

Hey Bud,

    Hows my angel tonight? Wish you could tell me. I try so hard to keep myself occupied but no matter what it comes right back to thoughts of you. No big surprise, RIGHT????The candlelighting is on Sunday. I am anxious for it, its such a wonderful tribute to all our angels un Heaven. I want to put a memorial in the paper for you. I have been writing things down as I think of them and then I will rewrite it. It so hard to out down in words what I feel, I could take out a full page one, I dont know why they have to cost so much. But no matter what you know how I feel. You will be 24 soon. I wonder what you look like, are you aging? Did your hair grow back from when I cut it? I wonder about so many things. I talked to Maria Conigliaro today. There is sadness in their family right now with them losing Kim's mom. I feel for them, because we know the heartache that goes along with this. She told me a few things about death and that she believes your spirit is around me. I agree. If you see Debbie, show her how to communicate with the girls, they need her.I love you Bud, thats always and forever.....From earth to Heaven and all the in between places.

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Dec 10th getting closer to your birthday  / Mom

Hey Bud,

  Just me mom here. Well today is Uncle Bob's birthday. Maybe you already know Kim Jesse' mother died on Saturday, her veiwing was today. I didnt go, I know I should of, if you were here, you would of gone. You always felt so bad for people when someone they loved died. I did write a note in her memorial in the paper. I hurt for Kim & Nichole, they are so young to lose their mom. I guess she is just another wonderful angel in Heaven now. People are here one day and gone the next.Its so hard to believe or understand. I'll tell ya, I miss you more every single day, its not that its getting easier, just not so fresh. But believe me its always there. I try to hide so much from others. Aaron got home safe and now is on his way to Pittsburg for a couple of days. Ryan is bowling. You would get a kick out of watching him, or maybe you do now. He is actually pretty good. I went one night and watched, I was visioning you up there, as I watched so many times before. I dont know BUd, this time life really threw me for a loop. I love you and that will never change or go away or ease up. MISSING MY BOY

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Merry Christmas  / Kate Porter Christopher's Mum
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DEC 6th 2008 AAron is on his way home  / MOM

Hey Sunshine,

    Well  Aaron should be alnding in newark, New Jersey right about now. Dad went to pick him up. God do I wish you were here. So much is going on without you. I sometimes want things to just frigin stop, but thats not fair to others, at least i guess. Aaron is so use to being on his own, very independent young man. He will be going back to Pittsburg before Jan 3rd. So I have to enjoy being with him now. Its weird how I know he is coming back, with you I know its not possible. I have to take big deep breaths when I think of that. Another mom passed away this morning, her son had already gone to Heaven and now she is joining him. I wonder if you guys really meet us when we get there. I want to believe that, that you will be there with Grandpa, giving me a huge hug and not letting go. Others might think I'm nuts for even thinking like that but they aren't living in my heart everyday. I cant wait to go away with your brothers, I feel that I need this more then anything, at least at this point of my life. I'm going through alot of emotions, trying to figure it all out. Ryan is so much ahppier being at Grandmas house, this has always been you guys safe haven. A place where you can be yourself, good or bad..LOL....Grandma & Grandpa were always there for you boys and me. I just want you to know how much I miss you and wish you were home with me.....Peace my sweet angel   always my boy

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Dec. 3rd, 2008  / MOM

Hey bud,

    Well we are into December now. Its starting to get colder at home.I hate the thought of the cemetary being cold and snow covered. I sit here and look at your pictures looking back at me, its so unreal for me, one day you are here talking to me and then the next you are gone forever, never to come back and speak or touch me. I miss you so very much, others just will never understand this deep hurt. I hide alot of emotions from others, I guess they think because they are doing things that I'm ok and doing the same, Oh I am moving forward, but let me tell you , it isnt easy.You would be so shocked with all of this, I know if Vince would of died first, you would of had a horrible time getting through it. You hated to see others hurting, you always wanted veryone to feel good about themselves, no matter what. I think of so many things that we shared, some good, some bad, but they always kept us together. We will always be there for each other. I try to do everything that I can for your brothers. Aaron will be home Saturday night, cant wait to see him. You would be so proud of him. I'm sure he thinks about you, but in a positive way, he is trying to make the most out of life. This is not easy on any of us.  We all have dealt with it differently, but we all love you so much. This is a big year for Ryan, being a senior and everything. I dont know, I am a mom always trying to fix things. I dont want anyone to ever forget you or what you meant to others and the love you had for your family. Grandma hurts alot, I see her sitting in the living room and I know what shes thinking, she trys to be strong for me and me for her. We talk about you all the time. She loves you just like you were her son, Grandpa always felt the same way. I hope you have found each other up there.Well my angel, Mom loves you forever.....PEACE

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Nov 28th 2008  / MOM

Well Bud, I made it through another Thanksgiving. We made a dinner

for the first time since you've been gone. I didnt want to. It'sjust so different now. I went to the cemetary and put your tree up, covered your bench and put a wreath on yours and Grandpas grave. Its so lonely there, so quiet and peaceful. I was telling you that Im not feeling the thankful things right now. Aaron is coming home very soon. Ry is going hunting on Monday, you would like to be able to do those things with him, He is going to be 18 Anthony, Can you believe it????Your little munchkin man is going to graduate this year. So unreal how life is changing and moving on. Its like I want at times for the world to just stop but it wont.I really am missing you, at times I want to scream out loud that I love you and want you back home with me.I try to keep alot of this hurt inside, maybe it helps your brothers if I do that, I dont know. Never thought I would be going through this and I know you sure didnt think of this. The downstairs is about the same as you left it. All your sports stuff is still up and will stay there.I hope you can really see us down here, it would hurt you so much to see any of us in pain. You never wanted anyone to hurt especially if you were the reason. I just need alittle help from you at times, well always I need that. You are probably the only person who really knows what I am feeling and thinking at all times, if its true that you are always with me, then you know. Hopefully I will see you in my dreams tonight. Peace my sweet Anthony......

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I am thinking of you  / Pam Sellitto
I know how painful another Thanksgiving is without your Anthony. I can only pray that he and my Aaron are at peace. Close

Birthday Wishes Sent with Love  / Precious Memorials

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Nov 21st, very cold at home  / MOM
Hows moms boy?  Well time sure is going by, the holidays are aprroaching us and I dont like it. So many memories of wonderful times with all of us. Having your birthday so close to xmas was always a big deal, I tried to make it special. Bringing you home xmas morning was the best gift that i ever got, being a mom for the first time. I feel so much love inside for you , I know that you knew how much I loved you then and still do today, it doesnt matter that you arent here physically, you are with me every second that I breath. Sometimes its such a strong feeling of sadness, overcome with joy and pride. Remembering the things you loves so much, all the basketball games I watched you play in, the baseball games I watched you pitch and play 1st base, the joy and laughter you shared with others. Just so many things.You were a free spirit, you loed people and wanted to make everyone happy, no matter what you were feeling at the time. I think back and wish I could of made life alittle easier for you and Aaron, but I can't. As long as you boys knew the love I felt for you, then it was ok. I dont know what I would do if I didnt have Aaron & Ryan, I wouldnt want to go on, it gives me strenght to do every day things. I dont want them to know how deeply I am hurting. Some day when they are parents, they will understand alittle bit of it, just the thought of losing one of your kids is too much. Well Bud Mom loves you from earth to heaven and all the in between places. Peace tonight my sweet angel Close

Nove 18th, 2008 Mom loves you  / Mom

Hey Bud,

    Just me mom as always. Well tonight is a big night for your brother Aaron, he is still in Mexico and graduates tonight, wish we were there for him. He has been very sick over there.I worry and cant wait till he is back home in the USA. Ry has been going hunting across the road with his puppy, he is so cute, they got their first rabbit on Saturday. Well your last fish didnt make it through today, I knwo its only a fish, but its your fish. I had Ry take care of it, I couldn't bring myself to do anything with it. I dont know, this is not really any easier. I mean time is certainly going by, there is no controlling that. Sometimes I have to push myself and I mean push myself to do anything. I had a comp hearing yesterday, it went good, at least I think it did. It has been too many years without income, almost 4.Someday my life will hopefully turn around. I want to take your tree over to your grave soon, its really cold today. I hate that its cold there. I wish I could connect with you some other way, come see me in my dreams tonight Bud, I will be waiting for you. Mom loves you more every day...Always and forever Sunshine

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Thinking of You All  / Forever Family To Angel~Vanessa Borg~

Dear Pat

              Thank you for leaving such kind words on our Vanessa Memorial Site. It really means a lot. This is such a hard road we have to walk and sometimes it's so unbearable.But it helps to share Our Children and Feelings with each other, who are going through this forever pain. Your Son Anthony is so precious,I know he is always with you,he wraps his Angel Wings around you to Comfort you.We miss them more and more especially on their Birthday's,Holidays,etc....He has a Beautiful Memorial Site and it is so true that Grieving not wanting to let go.Because I cannot let my Vanessa go. May God give you Strength and with with each Beautiful Sunset you see ,know that Anthony is looking  on You.

Sending all Our Love~ from Vanessa Borg Family

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Just another lonely day at home  / Mom
Hey Bud, well today is your dads birthday. I hope you sent him a sign or are in his dreams tonight. I know he loves you and miss's you. You wondered sometimes about his love for you. Some people dont know how to show their emotions up front. I know the feelings he has for you boys, it runs deep like any other parents, but I think that when we lose one of our own, it really wakes you up. To know that someone so precious to us can be taken in a split second and then our world crashes around us. I hope you see us from up there.We are all doing things our own way. You are with us through it all. I went to a Compassionate friends meeting today, they really give me hope and to know that I am going through the same things that others are, some are farther along then I, but it has been more time for them. There is no time frame for this, I know that if I live 30 more years, I will feel the love for you just as strong. Whats that saying, if you love something let it go, well I will never let you go, you are a part of me and our family, when you died a part of me died, its that simple. I'm always wondering about you and what its like in Heaven, is there really a heaven? So many questions, I can only hope that there is and that it is beautiful and that you can see things. Hopefully I will dream of you tonight Bud. Always and forever your mom Close

Nov 10th, 2008 the start of winter  / Mom
Hey Bud, me again.. I dont seem to write as much anymore, not that I'm not thinking about you, becasue I'm always doing that, its a natural thing in my mind. There is no escape and I dont want one.The time is passing me by, so much always going on. So much to do and take care of. I wish you were here to share things with, well I share everything with you now, its just different, because I'm use to you voicing your opinion, I would give anything to hear you tell me what to do.......You were never afraid to let your emotions show, you wore your heart on your sleeve as they say. I think thats hereditary in our family. We all seem to do that and usually get hurt. Some days I feel very strong minded, others I could care less  about anything. I feel myself pulling away from people and I try not to do that. Some times I just walk out of the room, like to escape. I dont think your last fish is gonna make it, I've tried so hard to keep him going. Im sorry for that, I know it is only a goldfish but its yours and its the last living thing of yours. Crazy HUH????You know me trying to hold on to every little thing. Well Mom loves you so very much, that will never change or go away or get easier. I miss you with every second that I breath!!!!!Peace sunshine Close